I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
