that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
