do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
