Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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