Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
