the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
