You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
