we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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