I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
