wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
