I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
