I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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