As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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