38 yer olds are good kisserssss
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Is it because I queefed?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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