I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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