if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
