Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
