Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
There's always time for handjobs
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
