You're so nebulous sometimes
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
