Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
