Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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