I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
