you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
