Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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