After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
