drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
even my farts smell like vagina
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
