Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
