dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
