Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
