Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
