He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
