i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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