brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
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