Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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