hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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