My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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