sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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