I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
