how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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