Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
