You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
