if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
