Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
