What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
