he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
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