I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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