I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
