i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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