Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
