the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
